Be a simple kind of man
As mentioned before, many Many Baby Boomers find themselves starting over. New housing, new activities, new friends, etc. So what happens to you and your personality? Do you change? The truth is “maybe”. Maybe for the better provided that you don’t try to be something your not. Like you’ve heard before - be yourself. The people around you want someone they can easily relate to and be comfortable with. The more complicated you are the less likely you are to have good social interactions. It’s OK to be interesting - but keep things simple when you can.
Here’s some advice from the lyrics of Lynyrd Skynyrd:
Simple Man
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time… dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.
(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(chorus)
Boy, dont you worry… youll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
This question was asked in the lyrics of an Edgar Winter Group song a long time ago. I heard the song for the first time when I was on my honeymoon in Virginia Beach. It was being sung by a cover band and that line stuck with me. I find that asking this question is a great reality check. It’s similar to asking yourself “Why do you keep doing that?”.
We all know how easy it is to get caught up in staying busy with efforts that do little more than support our survival. We go to work, shovel the snow, rake the leaves, pay the bills, do it again and again and again. Then we “wake up” in a year or two as ask what we’re doing and where are we going. For some, a new direction is found, and life gets better. Somewhere I heard that we need to stop worrying and spend more time day dreaming because that can help us move us away from the status quo.
Am I above getting caught up in routines? Absolutely not. As a matter of fact I think I need to repeat that line a few times right now.
As I read through the lyrics, I can see that there may have been other meanings. But for me, it helps to focus on the one line. Here’s the rest of the lyrics:
Dying To Live by The Edgar Winter Group
You know I’ve heard it said there’s beauty in distortion.
By some people who’ve withdrawn to find their heads
Now they say that there is humor in misfortune
You know I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead
Why am I fighting to live if I ‘m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
Hey, you know some people say that values are subjective,
But they’re just speaking words that someone else has said.
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the living from the dead.
Why am I fighting to live if I ‘m just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
Yeah, you know I used to weave my words into confusion.
And so I hope you’ll understand me when I ‘m through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion,
But reality will make my dreams come true.
So I’ll keep fighting to live till there’s no reason to fight
And I’ll keep trying to see until the end is in sight
You know I’m trying to give so c’mon give me a try
You know I’m dying to live until I’m ready …
’til I’m ready …..
’til I’m ready …..
’til I’m ready to die
Time Travel - How would you use it?
Let’s say someone gave you a time machine to use provided you followed these rules:
- You can only go back in time
- You cannot go back in time before your 12th birthday
- You body will take on the appearance of you at the time period you travel to.
- You can go back in time and be who you were (you get to re-live part of your life).
So, have at it! What would do?
When I asked this question in casual conversation I was provided with some interesting answers:
- I would go back and be less shy.
- I would correct the mistakes I made.
- I would do better in sports.
- I would study something different to prepare for a different job.
- I would be a better student.
- Etc.
What was more interesting was that not one person said “There’s nothing I would change.” or ” I wouldn’t do anything different.” Then when I thought about this I decided to stop thinking about it. Why? I began to feel that this type of thinking is somewhat unhealthy. For me, it invoked thinking about regrets and what I could have done better.
So what’s the point? At this time of our lives I think that it’s better to look forward - not backward. Looking backward can only serve to drive you crazy.
It’s been a long Winter - time for a change of scenery.
Here in Massachusetts we’re having record snowfall with enough low temperatures to call global warming into question. The snow ion the ground is growing taller and you know what? It’s time to get get away!
So for the past few days my wife and I have been looking at low cost getaways, and with at least another month of chilly weather, we really don’t care where it is. We just need a change of scenery.
We could either fly out of the Boston or the Providence airport - both offer plenty of destinations without too much flying time. And, there’s some great deals. We just haven’t decided where to go.
The simplest choice would be to take off to Florida. The flights are inexpensive, we have plenty of friends and family there and the weather is warm. Then for a bit more time in the air, there’s the Caribbean. There’s plenty of discounted deals there right now. But again, we’re still undecided.
Any suggestions?
Wakeup with a Work Out
Work out to wake up! Are you crazy?
Call me lazy or call me whatever, I would rather take my time getting up and drink coffee for a while. Then at some point in the day, go for a brisk walk - and call that a work out. The problem is that in my situation it’s not working and my routine has to change. Too many pounds have come my way and I need to reverse the trend, or buy new clothes.
Well according to an article I just read at www.sheerbalance.com,
they recommend working out first thing in the morning for several reasons. And as comfortable as I am with my situation, these reasons make sense.
Here’s what they say:
Wake up and Go!
What is the best time to workout?
December 27, 2007 - It may sound painful, but working out in the morning provides you with multiple benefits, making your workout more effective than a workout in the afternoon or evening.
- Exercising on an empty stomach allows you to burn fat and calories that are stored vs. those that you have eaten during the day, making your caloric burn more efficient
- You burn an increased number of calories for up to 2 or 3 hours after a workout. Combined with normal activity (as compared to the evening when you are winding down), your metabolism becomes super-charged. Further, this increased metabolism means burning off breakfast even faster than normal
- You wake up your body naturally, helping it to be ramped and ready to take on the day without needing caffeine and other chemicals to get you up and moving
- When waking up your body with exercise, you also wake up your mind, allowing you to be more productive, more alert and more effective throughout the day
Stress
“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”
—Thomas Jefferson
My observations are that for many reasons, not excluding today’s economy, us Baby Boomers are a pretty stressed out group. So I did some reading on stress starting with some statistics:
Foundation for Integrated Research In Mental Health…
- Globally, more than 3 out of 5 doctor visits are for stress related problems.
- Globally, 23% of women executives and professionals, and 19% of their male peers, say they feel super-stressed.
American Psycological Association…
- Forty-three percent of adults suffer adverse health effects from stress.
- Two-thirds of all office visits to family physicians are due to stress-related symptoms.
- Sixty-four percent of Americans say they are taking steps to reduce stress in their lives.
- Stress is linked to the six leading causes of death—heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.
So what do we do about it? The best information I could find was at:
www.tipsforboomeryears.com
Their advice…
1. Start exercising - exercise is one of the most important, yet simple, ways to reduce stress. If you’re physically fit, your body is better able to cope with stress and exercising gets rid of stress hormones, helps you keep your weight down and sleep well. Start any exercise program slowly and build up. Walking is one of the best exercises and the least stressful on your body.
2. Diet helps relieve stress and antioxidants keep you young - Reducing the amount of sugar and processed foods in your diet helps relieve stress and eating more fruits and vegetables keeps your body strong and healthy, another great stress reliever.
3. Too much caffeine can cause stress - If you can’t cut out the coffee altogether, switch to herbal tea or water later in the day. Also, cut out the alcohol. Alcohol stresses your body and doesn’t help relax you or help you sleep in the long term.
4. Practice deep breathing - One simple way to reduce stress is simply by breathing deeply to help relax your body. Here is one simple deep breathing exercise. Breath in slowly to the count of 6, hold your breath for the count and breath slowly out to the count of 8. This will reach the air trapped deep in your lungs.
5. Practice living mindfully. When stress hits, take a walk and really look around. Take time to observe nature and what’s good about the day. Living mindfully means focusing on the moment. Don’t fret over the past or future. The present moment is all you have really and it IS possible to feel good in the present moment. If you can’t do this all the time, at least practice living in the moment a few times a day to quiet the mind.
6. Take some time away from stimulation. Turn off the television, go sit outside or in some quiet place and practice your deep breathing. Most relaxation exercises begin with silence and quiting the mind.
7. Try relaxing your body. Lay on your back and focus on each body part in turn, relaxing your feet, then your calves, then your thighs, until you’ve worked your way up your body. If you aren’t sure how to relax, get a CD of yoga relaxation techniques and do the exercises along with the CD.
8. If you feel stressed out, make a list of things that are stressing you and, more importantly, what you can do about them. Sometimes, creating a to-do list will help us get the many details of life off our minds. If it is a situation that you can’t do anything about, try to take a small 30 minute vacation from worrying about it.
9. Try affirmations. Tell yourself “I feel calm and I can handle any situation.” Keep repeating this until you accept it.
10. Take up a hobby, even if it’s putting together a puzzle. You’d be surprised at how focused you can become when putting a puzzle together. If you love to cook, look up some healthy and tasty recipes to try. Put on an inspirational or happy movie and do some stretches while you watch it. Do something to distract yourself from worry or stress.
The Future. What should we expect?
So here we are. We’re Baby Boomers and it’s 2009. And just as we looked to the future as a child and a young adult, today we still look to the future. Because of today’s economic mess we look to the future because we want things to get better.
As a child we looked to the future because we wanted to live like the Jetsons traveling around in Jet Packs. Instead we ended up with laptops and Ipods. With all the great inventions and increased efficiency we expected a shorter work week and longer vacation times. Instead we’re working longer worry that our job is there after our week off. I know. It sounds like a bunch of whining. But the fact is… the future isn’t what we expected and now we have to deal with it. We would rather have a Jet Pack and now we’re nervous about going broke before retirement even starts. So what do we do about it?
I’m not sure about this. This economic meltdown is a new problem. We’ve had recessions but not like this one. I think the best thing to do is to try to understand it - at least enough to learn about what we’re up against. Then we need to start considering the worst case scenarios and possible options. Finally, for sanity’s sake, we have to give ourselves to to NOT think about it.
Ideas?
For most, your job is your legacy.
Yet most of us don’t like our jobs!
In other words, “We may not like our legacy.” How can that be?
Looking at this from a Baby Boomer’s view it is absolutely correct - not for all of us - but for the overwhelming majority of us it’s true. Some of us would ask how important our legacy is then let it go. For others it provokes a deeper thought… What have I been doing with my life?
I think about it.
Some of us get up every day and totally enjoy going to work. Others put up with it but have incredible outside interests. Many know their job is boring, and they don’t care. For them it’s all about survival. Most don’t think about it too much. We just do what we have to do and plan the next vacation.
For those who would rather be __ (you fill in the blank), the question to ask is “What am I going to do about it?” But first, how you you answer these questions:
- If I could start over, would you want the same job?
- Would you encourage your daughter or son to follow your career path?
- If you had a chance to change career’s, would you choose to stay put?
If you answered “yes, yes, yes” … lucky you! You are in the minority. If you answered “no, no, no” , that’s where most of us are.
Here’s the good news. It doesn’t matter that much what you’ve been. It’s where we’re going that really counts. So if you’re in a rut, what you should be doing is plotting a new direction. And, this can be challenging because of financial limitations, but it could go something like this:
- Determine what you would rather do.
- Start training for it.
- If possible, start doing the new job part time.
- When the part time job starts working well, make the change.
With all this said, we have to question the importance of our legacy. It may or may not matter. But the day will come when think about what we’re doing with our lives. After all, we’re baby Boomers and that’s the kind of stuff we do.
Bell Lake
Looking back at my childhood adventures,
I’m encouraged to do more now!
As I thought back to when my enjoyment of walking began, I came to the conclusion that it started during my childhood. My favorite walk would take me to a small lake that had formed in the shape of a bell (”Bell” Lake). With a muddy bottom, weeds, etc. it was not a swimming lake. Rather, it was more of an over sized pond providing scenery for nearby residents and recreation for kids. I was between the age of 9 and 12 at the time and I remember Woodbury (N.J.) as a small city with its uptown section connecting to the uptown sections of other cities. It seemed that you could travel across the entire state and stay uptown. But as a child, that was not where the action was. (Not yet.) Bell Lake was in another direction and everything a child would want or need could be found right there. If you weren’t at school, you were at the lake! You could go fishing, ride a raft, cut down trees, hunt turtles, bike ride through the woods, skip rocks, or just hang out. A typical day started early and stopped around dinner time. Here’s some reasons why Bell Lake was special: Pipe Walking
One end of the lake an overflow system formed a small waterfall which flowed into a second basin. On the lake’s other side a stream flowing into the lake. That stream flowed through a pipe large enough to enter. There was water in the pipe but only the bottom. By stretching our legs out above the waterline, we could walk into the pipe. But a walk into the pipe was done reluctantly. It was dark and inhabited by rats as evidenced by the activity just outside the pipe. (Rats Swimming) There were two rules to pipe walking: travel in groups and bring flashlights.It took about 20 minutes to go from beginning to end. The pipe went under a set of apartments and a parking lot then ended at another stream. Except for the flashlight held by the “point man”, most of through of the journey was spent in darkness. There were strange sounds from inside the pipe which we assumed to be rats. Once we came across a couple of bats which offered another explanation for the noises. When we reached the other end, we would take a vote to decide on returning through the pipe or walk around it. On one trip we encountered another group of pipe walkers coming right at us. After some discussion, we figured out how they could climb around us so that neither group had to change directions. As an initiation to Bell Lake, newcomers were challenged to pipe walk with us. Raft Hunting
Bell Lake’s second basin was surrounded by woods. On one side there was a peninsula know as “The Point”. The Point was the best spot to fish and to find turtles. Overgrowth of sticker bushes and vines made getting to The Point tough, but it was worth it. One day buried in the bush we found raft complete with a pole. We gathered our fishing gear and launched the raft. Forgetting about fishing, we traveled to parts of the basin we didn’t even know about. There were no canoes or power boats out there – we had the lake to ourselves! At the end of the day we found a new hiding spot for the raft - after all, the raft was now ours. To our dismay the raft was not there when we returned. After a couple of hours of searching, we found it hidden in another spot. This business of finding the raft, using it, then hiding it continued all summer.There is no doubt that we spent more time walking around looking for the raft than we did riding it.The Hatchet
- Don’t cut trees down on that side of the lake (with the private property) and
- it’s easier to use the other raft.
Bell Lake Today
Winter Walking
In regards to walking, this Winter has been a challenge. It’s late mid-January in Massachusetts and the days are short. On weekdays the lunch hour is the only reasonable time to walk. I keep a hat, a scarf, an umbrella, etc. at work so in general the weather isn’t a show stopper. But there are days when the wind, rain, and cold join forces - and win. Why? It’s the snowfall.
There is about two feet of snow in most areas and the temperature hasn’t been above 10f. There’s a spot near where I work where I like to walk. It’s quiet and scenic but to getting there requires cutting through a small patch of woods and a snow covered field. Until a trail forms from the footprints, I get a pretty good workout.
The surprising part is that walking through the snow is that it’s the best part of the walk. There’s something about it that makes you feel good. Maybe it’s the natural cleanness of it, or maybe it’s just fun to look at it. It definitely changes the scenery giving more variety to the walk. For those who like a little extra exercise, this is a good way to get it.
What I haven’t done, and I should do, is to go out of my way to take a walk through the snow. (I’ve already decided that I enjoy it.) New Years is bringing a four day weekend, perhaps some of that time can be spent walking in the snow. A few people at work have recently taking up snow shoeing. Theres a mountain park not too far from here where you can rent the equipment. That might be the best way to experience snow walking!
Well, more snow is expected this weekend. And, I’ll be out there.
Hank@onlythebeginning.org
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Recent Posts
- Be a simple kind of man
- Why am I dying to live if I’m just living to die?
- Time Travel - How would you use it?
- It’s been a long Winter - time for a change of scenery.
- Wakeup with a Work Out
- Stress
- The Future. What should we expect?
- For most, your job is your legacy. Yet most of us don’t like our jobs!
- Bell Lake
- Winter Walking
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